I’m baaaack

    Please accept my deepest apologies for being gone so long. It has been a busy few months at my house. We’ ve learned a bunch, slept ALOT, been busy growing this little one,  and tried to fly under the radar of all the naysayers .

The last few weeks have caused me to really evaluated my friendships and casual relationships that either need to be nurtured or just plain cut off. Over the course of our marriage, Rah and I have not formed many friendships for various reasons. Generally, I am a people person , but my hubby is not. He prefers the quiet solitude of home and the comfort of our immediate family. A few years ago, we decided to be more open to forming and developing friendships in our home school group and church. This worked out fine for a few years and we have become friends with some dynamic couples. Our children have formed great friendships and it has been great for all parties involved. However, over the past few weeks we have been met with some situations that have caused me to want to back out of some “friendships” and just be with my own family. Nothing major, just a difference in styles of parenting and general goals  in successful child rearing. Pray for us. Pray that we will make a wise decision and maintain an nurture the essential relationships and sever ties with the toxic ones.

When to stand and when to hide…….

 

"A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished."
Proverbs 22:3

Babies are so precious. They are gifts to us, little bits of heaven that find ways to soften our hearts, and then, if we are wise, we reciprocate and give them everything we have in return.
There is no such thing as a child who is a "mistake", no matter what the timing. Every baby born is a blessing, no matter if that baby dies prematurely or is somehow malformed. I can say these things because I am quite attached to my Heavenly Father, the Author and lover of all life, and He has indicated in multitudinous ways His attachment to mankind.

Some folks do not seem to have a great grasp on these truths. It is unfortunate that many of these people go to church with us and that most of the most vociferous ones are related to us.
So when we find out we are expecting a baby, we must be careful with whom we share the blessed news. I have become more and more sure of this as the years have passed and the babies have come.
Jesus said, "cast not your pearls before swine". This scripture is applicable here for me. My children are all precious pearls, ones so valuable they are worth losing everything for.
Some people are "swine" when it comes to appreciating them. Now, they may not realize just how their thinking is a deterioration of the good mind God gave them on the subject, but the outcome of their mindset is still devastating to me, and to the peace in my heart while I am carrying my beloved baby.
Words are powerful things, especially to a woman who is purposely being softened in her heart by God to give life through her body. It is not an easy thing to go through pregnancy, with the morning sickness, the swellings and sleeplessness and all the other unpleasant things--I am attempting to be honest here. So God gives to women all sorts of helps--emotional reasons that help a mother to overlook these physical trifles. There is a reason pregnant women tend to look more soft and vulnerable--it is because they are.
This is precisely why I do not allow certain people in my life while I am pregnant, nor do I force myself into every social situation or obligation. It is not just to protect myself, but the little person growing inside. Even if I am closely related to an individual, they do not automatically have open access to speak whatever they wish.
I believe our culture has forgotten just how protected pregnancy and childbearing should be--that just as the marriage bed should be a place of safety and privacy, so too should the whole process of bringing forth life. We have grown so callous about this time because we have degraded the act of love and made it a thing for billboards. I may be considered old-fashioned, but seeing someone's naked, swelled belly makes the whole process seem base, when it should be revered and placed in the highest regard.
Every once-in-a-while I receive a question on how or when to tell disapproving relatives, friends and church members that a child is expected, whether it be the first or the 12th. I am of the opinion that some folks don't need to know until it is too obvious to keep secret--sometimes even until after the child is born! Or, if there is no way around it, the announcement should be made with flourish, and that it is made perfectly clear that no critical remarks will be tolerated.
It also helps if the husband announces things without his wife in attendance, or answers the phone when certain people call. This has been such a blessing when my dear husband has done this for me.
But when we are expecting we should be careful never, never to allow the empty-headed opinions of others to change the wonder and excitement of the divine transfer we are undergoing. I have found that Spurgeon's commentary on the Psalms, especially for Psalm 127 and 128 are immensely helpful to counteract the fiery darts thrown during this special time.

( These are not my words, but the words of a sweet  friend over at largefamilymothering.blogspot.com. I reposted them here because they deeply marked my sentiment today and in the past several weeks.  This is my struggle as well. I was wonderfully comforted by knowing that I’m not the only one who feels this pain. I sometimes wonder how other Moms of many cope and get through this. She has beautifully expressed all I have tried to say on so many occasions. Thanks in advance ladyofvirtue!!!!!)

The Birthday Boys…

Matthew David 
4/26/1999
3 lbs. 1.6 oz    15"  8:12 a.m.
 Mason Curtis
4/26/1999
2lbs. 13.4 oz    151/2"  8: 20 a.m

Eleven years ago this past Monday my twin boys were born. What a fantastic, fun filled and interesting journey parenting those guys has  been. I’ll never forget the day we learned that you guys were two babies instead of one. We went in for a ultrasound to validate my due date of July 30,1999.  The tech asked ,“ Ummmm, what kind of car do you guys drive?” Daddy and I looked at each other, thinking that this was a strange question to ponder at the OB Gyn office. I told her we drove a truck. She laughed hysterically and replied” You might want to get a minivan….you got two little ones in there”. “WHAT???” we both replied.
The first night home.....



 Making mischeif under the crib...

Proudly displaying your toothless grins...

Matthew

Mason

That visit took place the last week of January. Little did we know that you guys would make your debut a very short while later. The morning you were born begin like any other day. We got up got made breakfast and got ready for work and school. That day easy special because it was Daddy’s 25th birthday. Though we did not have any really special plans, I was trying to make a special breakfast for him before work. That morning,although my back was aching pretty bad; I resisted the urge to lie down. Eventually,  I gave up and cooking and decided to just buy breakfast instead.  On the way to get breakfast , I began to feel the urge to go to the bathroom. I told Daddy I needed to go REAL bad. We agreed that I would wait till we got to the cafe and I’d use the restroom there. You guys had other ideas. At the next stop light , I told Daddy “ I can’t wait”. He laughed and ribbed me about the chips and salsa I ate at midnight the night before. I assured him that we were in a urgent situation. Before I could convince him I was in no mood for jokes, Matthew was beginning to slide out.  We got to the hospital just in time for the Dr. to discover that Mason was breech and  had to be delivered . Thankfully all was well with both of you despite being 3 months early. After a 6 weeks NICU stay , you were discharged  and life has been non-stop ever since.  In a span of 8 minutes, I we went from being a family of four to a family of six. And live has never been the same. You guys have blessed my life in immeasurable ways and teach me new things daily. I thank God for choosing me to be your Mom.

The ball has dropped…..well sort of…

Well spring has sprung around these parts and we are singing and swinging and getting merry like summer. We have planted our garden, wrapping up our school year ,and getting ready for the next round of pigs we’ll raise this summer for the Sate Fair in the fall. So we are busy. To add just a wee bit more.... we are also pregnant….again. Though we have known for a few weeks we have been trying to keep the info under wraps for as long as my little sticky bun and my out of shape body will allow.  We knew that soon SOMEONE would figure it out and the the ridicule would begin. I can’t even put into words some of the feelings other folks made me feel by some of  their hurtful well intended…er advice. But, I digress,  a friend…(well I thought she was my friend) exclaimed loudly “ I thought you guys..FIXED that  problem”. Well news flash Sherlock…….. guess not!  Some time this winter a new little one will help fill up our 12 passenger van.
If you have something positive to say….bring it on . If you have a negative nasty remark…keep it. I’ll try to keep you posted of some of the remarks we’ll hear as the news continues to leak…..meanwhile until I’m waddling with a watermelon in my gut let’s keep this between us. Shhhhhhhhh! ; 0 )

Our Spring Trip

Earlier this month  I attended  a conference in New Orleans, LA . Since the conference fell during the week , and my hubs was off work, we loaded the entire family up for a road trip. While I was in session and fulfilling appointments during the day, my husband and kids toured the city. Here are some photo’s of their experience at The Audubon Aquarium. I’ll post these over a few days so you won’t be overloaded with picture heavy posts.

The

crew outside the hotel

Mocha Princess in a clam shell

Sea Life

Diva Darling

Caules and Mocha

 

Their favorite activity…feeding the stingrays

Birthday Season 2010

I bet you’re wondering where I’ve been…..I we’ve been busy around these parts doing all sorts of things. March 7 marked the beginning  of our household birthday season 2010. As you can well imagine, there is always a birthday being celebrated in our house of 9. ;0) It’s been my plan to highlight the birthday child on his or her special day. So…well. you know how that goes. What the saying???? Best laid plans of mice and men….any who. I’m here doing it now because I feel bad for not having done so already and also because next week our house will celebrate the births of the twins , my beloved, my grandmother, two aunt and moi. All that in three days…followed by my sister on May 3.  But, enough of my rambling let’s get to the birthday boy. From birth sweet boy has been different. Not in the sense of having special needs, but having a knack for being gentle, patient, giving and loving. He truly would give you the shirt off his back this boy.

He was born 11 months after his twin brothers who were born three months prematurely. Though the twins are fine now, in the beginning they had  a billion appointments and one twin seemed to always be crying. So as a baby, he spent a great deal of time being nurtured and loved by siblings and grandparents. Aside from nursing, he seemed to always be doing his own thing and patiently waiting. Waiting for his turn to nurse ( at the time I was nursing 4 of my own kids and wet nursing 1….in know…..CRAZZZZZYYYY )or be bathed or changed …etc. The key was patient. He always waited patiently. Fast forward a few years and his sweet  patient spirit remains. I look at him know and wonder what happened to the time. He’s ten and focused on finding God’s will for his life. Today he was asking me if I thought it would be okay if he moved my oldest son ( who is autistic) to his house once he has established himself somewhere, so that his Dad and myself can travel to some places alone for a change. Sweet huh???? 

Choosing Joy…..

Choose Joy. Several times over  the last week I have heard this statement. Over the course of any given week, my life journey takes me down many roads. Long winding roads, straight roads , muddy roads , beautifully landscaped roads,  and dark pot hole filled roads. Although, the scenery is different on each path, I am the same. Each road brings it’s own successes and failures. That being said, I have confession,I think know I‘ve been focusing to much attention on the failures . My own personal failures and those of my family. It’s an easy thing to do. In our world and culture it’s quite easy to find the negative and the cons to almost every issue/situation. You have to really work to find the positive points. Today, I want to  a different journey. A journey that purposes to build hope, nurture dreams , and believe the impossible.  Most importantly, a journey  that CHOOSES JOY!

If I had my child to raise........

If I had my child to raise...


"If I had my child to raise all over again I'd build self-esteem first, & the house later. I'd fingerpaint more, & point the finger less. I'd do less correcting & more connecting. I'd take my eyes off my watch, & watch with my eyes. I'd take more hikes & fly more kites. I'd stop playing serious, & seriously play. I wou...ld run through more fields & gaze at more stars. I'd do more hugging & less tugging" - Diane Loomans
The good news is....it's not  never too late!! There is still time to correct mistakes and heal hurts. Just a thought.....

Our Southern Snow Day!!!!!!

Very rarely do we get snow here in our neck of the woods. In fact, many winter seasons come and go without me ever REALLY unpacking and wearing all my favorite heavy coats, mittens, scarves, scully caps, and boots. Sooooo, when the forecast predicted a "wintry mix" a few weeks back, I disregarded it. Did not even bat an eye at making any real preparations for "wintry weather". What do those weather guys know anyway? And how often are they WRONG!!!!. Was I in for a surprise when I got up to let Bella (our cocker spaniel) out for a morning potty break. Without even thinking I opened the door and told her  to "move,qucikly". Sensing her hesitation, and feeling that cold draft (brrrrrr), I peeked out to see this:

WOW!!!Serves me right huh? Having grown up playing in snow, it was a beautiful sight, but the last thing I wanted was to GO out to PLAY in it. Of course that's exactly what my little ones wanted to do. Even though it was only 7 am. After some coaxing ( hubs was on board with me) we all bundled up. Albeit in a rag tag fashion, 'cause of course we had no clue where our REAL winter gear was. Since winters here are usually pretty mild, all we had readily available was a few light jackets.  On average,our  lows are in the upper 40's and 50's on a really cold day.  Here are some snap shots of us enjoying our southern snow sent straight to us from God! My three year old excitedly exclaimed " Mom, God sent us frosty kisses from Heaven!!". So to sum it all up.

Headed to Grandparents to play!

Our poorly atempt at a Snowman!

Our Snow Expense Chart:

$35 Take -out Pizza for Dinner Day # 1

$8 Spent at local Dollar Store to purchase  Extra Mittens and Scullys

$ 14 Ready cut Wood for Fireplace

# of minutes wasted  searching for  elusive snow gear: 45

# of minutes to discover the little ones had outgrown their super cute snow boots: 20

2 1/2 Gorgeous, Super Fantastic snow days away from work&school with the family= PRICELESS

A few things about me....

After the spirit of my last post, I think it's fair to set the record straight about who I am. So here goes.

1. I am a child of the Living God!!!! ( who is most grateful for his grace and mercy)
2. I'm on a muti-faceted journey to become a better Christ follower, Wife, Mom, student of scripture,     homeschooler.
3. I want the best for my children.
4. I'm a Baptist who sometimes find it hard to let go of some of the tenets of my Methodist upbringing.
5. I LOVE my huband with every fiber of my being. Some days he is the very air I breathe.
6. I'm a Coca-Cola addict . Who does'nt want or need reform ; )
7. I struggle to find the skinny chick who once answered to my name.
To be continued.......

Critics......summed up.

A fellow homeschool Mom contacted me this week to give me some "correction". She wanted me to know that she has been following me on here and that I was WAY off base as a blogger. She told me, I should tighten my ship up an turn on spell check, and to make sure that I always have, subject/verb agreement. I took her advice....I thought about it for over 4 hours....know what I came up with. BUZZZ OFF!!!!! Last time I checked, this was MY space. I spend my day molding the lives of 7 little souls and encouraging women to nurse their babies. While those pursuits are quite noble and bring me immeasurable joy; they each are only a fraction of who I really am.  At the end of those actvities I need a place that is my own. A place where I can be me...unwind...let my hair down and just BE !!! This is that spot, for the time being. If you don't like it ...don't read it! And  you know what really gets my goat about the whole thing. She has not come of of the "shadows" to follow me publicly. She just stalks and critiques and goes on and on about what I am not . All in the comfort of being anonymous. Well guess what I'm a be me. That's right...(I was told I should avoid cultural vernacular as well ; ) WTH???  And by the way, if you are looking for a well written blog in which grammar and puntuation  rules are never ignored....this aint that spot. But I'm sure you knew that already.

Thoughtful Thursday......

I'm blessed beyond measure. I know this. My dh knows this and anyone in our small circle knows this as well. However, it can be difficult (sometimes) to count those blessings and be always joyful in the most depressed circumstances of our culture . I suspect that I am like many other homeschooling Moms that I know. My deepest desire is to raise children who are socially aware, intelligent, well rounded, well read......and the list could go on forever. Lately, it seems that the exact opposite is lurking around nearly every bend in the long country dirt road of our lives. My children are learning and doing well academically, socially, and spritiually. I read the blogs of other home educating families and they apppear to be having educational experiences that are not much different from my own. Sure, we complete our assignments and most days we do it with ease and with  measurable amounts of learning acheived. Then before we can shut our books and pack awy our matierals, I am struck with a thought. A gut wrenching thought born in  recesses of my often cynical mind .I wonder and ponder if this is truly the path I was destined to travel. If by chance, I perhaps stumbled into someone else" wonderland" and one day I'll awake to a different path. Am I truly serving my children by walking this path, choosing this lifestyle?? I'd like to think so. On these days, I need my cirlce of fellow homeschooling Moms the most. I need their encouragement, silent smiles and nods of understanding. Women who not only understand, but also appreciate this journey/call/ conviction I feel compelled to fulfill by choosing to invest my time and talents in the future leaders of our culture.

Sunday...should spell peace, joy, and rest

Sunday. The start of a new week, new opportunites to correct last weeks mistakes and a day spent reflecting on the goodness of my redeemer. If all this is true, why do my Sundays seem to come up  sour. I've been thinking about this for quite a while and can't seem to come up with an answer. Although, I 've narrowed it down a few possibilites. It's gonna sound like I am beating a dead horse, but this is my avenue to get it off my chest. Once again I find myself frustrated with almost everything. Even though I promised myself that I would try harder this yell to reign in the emotions and set them aside when dealing with the kids, I am failing miserably at this task. The son that I mentioned in the last post struck again bright and early this morning ( presenting at the breakfast table dressed in his brothers discared attire from yesterday ) proudly exclaiming that he was ready for church. : (  I wanted to ask him have'nt we been thru this EVERY Sunday for the last four years? Instead I yelled at him in the meanest voice I could muster thru clenched teeth to find something else.  Three hours later a quick trip to the grocery store turned into a 3 1/2 hr ordeal because the van would not start when I came out of the store.  : (  Lastly my oldest daughter in a CONTINUED effort to fit in allowed a girl  at church to write all over her arm and saw nothing wrong with it!!!!!!!! My first thought was "What the heck???" I wanted to tell her that she will never fit in and she might as well quit trying. That sometimes pre teen girls are catty, messy and should be avoided. Be independent and blaze your own trail. But instead of saying that I proceeded to yell at her how ignorant that was and that I have had enough.  I can't even figure out what edict to lay down on that front so I ordered her to her room while I thought about it. Next Sunday , I''m gonna set out to find some peace, joy, and rest....well I'm gonna try too....AGAIN.

Struggles.....struggles

It seems that I have fallen and ......I can't get up. I'm stuck somewhere between caring and not. Really, to be honest, I just want to just pack up a suitcase and head out. Surely everything that I am responsible for can rock on without me right??? I hate  detest being woe is me...but feel like everyone is entitled to go there once a quarter so .....here goes..   I am so very sure that God must have me in the "permanently grounded"  line. I find myself on my parenting journey questioning what went wrong. Did I take a wrong turn somewhere...miss a mile marker perhaps? Surley this tweenage girl in my home is a different speciaes than I. Never in a bajillion ( yes I made up a word) years would I have envisoned talking to my parents with the tone she uses so effortlessly. Was I ever this self-centered and self-asorbed????  Then moving on to the next issue that completely blows my mind.... I have a son whose sole mission in life is to not ever do ANYTHING well. for example, in lieu of selecting clean clothing to wear ( out of his drawers.)..he culls the soiled laundry that his brothers have discarded !!!!! He does'nt brush his teeth on any schedule and deodorant is merely considered optional.  Did I really give birth to these people???? What happened????